damn. i really love living.

honestly, i don’t even know what goes through my head anymore. i don’t think things through, i don’t rationalize- i just do. shit, how can i expect other people to understand me when i’m a complete enigma to myself?

i know every teenage girl is like “i don’t deal with drama” but this year i’ve actually meant it. if you’re going to be in my life, you’re going to have to be positive. why would i surround myself with people who only bring me down? maybe i’m stubborn because in the past i would try harder to mend what’s broken but then again maybe i’m stronger because i’m able to say goodbye to the people who don’t make me better.

this is a different kind of missing. there’s a missing that you can’t change but you learn to accept because it’s the only option you have. but that’s not what this is. this is the missing that you simply cannot accept because it was a choice; someone had you and chose to leave. you didn’t have to miss them but yet here you are. just like that.